I feel old today

I’m not. I’m in my early 30s. Someone posted a picture of their Sr prom from 2010 and Im thinking “mine was 7 years before that. I thought you were closer to my age.” … It threw me a bit off balance I think.


Me, Maui 2007

Scuba diving off the coast of Maui….

It was a lot of fun.

In June 2007, my (then) husband, grandmother, sister, and parents went on a trip to Maui (and to Honolulu). These are two of the three pictures I can find of me by myself. (Edit: I found a couple more pics of me by myself, bring the total up to five.)

It was a fun trip, but it was stressful and hard too.. my marriage was failing, I was cracking, and I was trying to keep everyone from seeing anything but perfection.

So this day last year Johnny and I tried to go on a date. I got all dressed up (in the same clothes I’m wearing today coincidentally, which is huge, I’ll go into why later)…. and promptly became ill while driving. I can’t remember if we ended up doing anything later in the evening or not, but I don’t think we did.

Jenny sick 4 14 16
All dressed up and can’t go out.


It’s huge that I’m in the same outfit, because between psych meds, lupus meds, and pregnancy I’ve spent nearly 7 years going up and down in weight so much that I went from a size 3 to a size XL (11/13 I believe is what XL is here in the US)… and back and forth… mostly in the middle, which is where I am now. My weight has seesawed and I’ve been all over the place. The fact my weight has been close enough for me to be in the same clothes is huge!

I did lose 14lbs when I was hospitalized last summer, so there was that drop between this picture and now. There was probably more of a drop than that since I’d been fighting the c. diff for awhile before that, but hey, the clothing still fits, and I’m excited about that!


I’m now a healthy and happy 130 (or there about)!!!!!!!!!!!

Last summer I could have died..

I became extremely ill – my kidneys were failing, my lupus was extremely active, and I had c. diff.

Oh, and my blood levels were wonky.

I was in the hospital for 12 days, and had doctors and nurses in and out of my room at all hours. I had a couple transfusions, had multiple antibiotics (first were iv before they figured out what was wrong, then oral), and was just a mess.

I’m so thankful to be alive.

First day
First day in, no real idea what was wrong, so I was wearing a mask because we knew that my white blood count was shit.

Food one week inA week in I wasn’t allowed anything but clear liquids and jello.

Jenny one week in
One week in – completely miserable.

Jenny 11 days in
11 days in, the day before I went home. I felt even worse than I looked. (To make it even worse, it was my daughter’s 12th birthday and I didn’t get to see her other than over video chat because of how sick I was!)

Jenny transfusions
The transfusions that let me go home… also potassium. (And I had had my oral antibiotics by this time.)

Jenny pulseox friendI gained a friend somewhere the last couple days of the hospital stay. No idea when, it just appeared, and I was confused and not thinking clearly about it. I can’t remember much about parts of my stay and that’s one of them.